Thursday, July 4, 2013

Tips for living out of home in nigeria.


Well,if u find urself in an unknown city in nigeria, living alone for any reason or the other, (most especially corpers) 
I think these are some helpful survival tips for low income earners like me :) 
The list also applies to people staying at home sef, but these are things you dont take note of once mummy is there to do it. :) 
They are few, so you can add some if you know any.

1) have an earpiece handy or learn how to tune people out sometimes. Some people are very ignorant and do not know how to hide it.

2) know you area bois, but not too well. 
Dont get familiar with them o, just greet them once in a blue-moon, let them sha recognize your face smallll. They dont need to know your name o.
Incase any wahala happens, if sm1 wants to cheat you or if u run your mouth to much and they want to beat u, the area bois can come to your rescue. :) 
This is necessary as the nigerian police .........., u know d rest.

3) if you do not have a gen, look for a shop or store around with a friendly owner that has a gen.
 try to buy things small small from them like blade, you know all those things sha.. Form a cordial relationship with them. When phcn strikes, you can go and charge your bb there. Sha do not charge it and go o. Phones are charged at owners risk.
Nobody is friendly when it comes to replaing lost phones.

4) try to speak a little of their language. Even if its just their greeting. Most nigerians are happy If you let them know you dnt speak  their language but show that you are attempting to learn. Most times they just laugh and try to correct you.
1 Hausa man now knows this is my scope for extra suya, oga don lock up :|

5) learn to priceeeeee... Yes o. Everynigerian is ijebu. Even if u have d money price dat shii to d last.  Dont let them make too much profit on your head. Another person will come.

6) know a little current affairs or at least read linda ikeji small, with nigerians, the conversation is shorter when you know what you are tAlking about. If you show a sign that you dont know, they try to teach you what you dont want to know that they think they know, then the conversation gets longer or it turns into an argument that you cant get out of. Especially if its about football.
Trust me you dnt want to be in that kind of situatuion

7) dnt give people the vibe that you are much more richer than them. 
Before you crucify me with comments, i didnt say you should appear poor o. but dnt  go and be doing omo baba olowo up and down. 
in this part of the world, when people get that vibe, they proably want to turn you to maga, they expect freebies, they want to borrow 'indefinitely' or the shameless 1z want you to settle them.

8) have a stove handy. Your gas might finish as you are making dinner on a saturday night. :| been there, done dat, hunger is real.

9) Staying alone can get boring or depressing. Find a family you can visit at least once in a month, or once in 3 months. Seeing children run up and down or being naughty can give you a feeling of home.

10) try to buy rechargable everything. Phcn is a bitch.

11) mortein is cheap, artesunate is expensive... Do everything you can to avoid malaria.. And typhoid too.

12) try to be a little bit friendly. It cant pay you to be packing face like cow shit up and down. People give more favors to people that smile. Living example here.... :) 
Oya show me ur 32... 

Deut 30:19  I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Friday, June 7, 2013

What next

Congratulations to the batch B 2013 corpers that passed out yesterday...
I hope some of you are not passed out under 1 bridge  thanks to the celebration(s)

Let me just pretent that i didnt go mia for a while...
Pls just ignore me.
Dnt worry i was stalking all of ya blogs :)

I dont know if its the passing out of this batch, or the fact that i know my batch is passing out next (wow time flies, when did i even start) or some other unknown factors... Bt mhen ive been depressed lately
Like big time....

The future is just starring you in d face and you cant read its expression.
It might be smiling, laughing or even mocking you
Bt deres nothing you can do bout that right.

Ive been concerned about whats gonna happen next..
Am i gonna get a job? Everywhere i turn, its unemployment or underemployment.
Whos even gonna give me a job? Am i smart enough?
Wait first,
Do i even want to work?
Do i want to start up something? And what is it?
I pickedup sewing this year and its something to consider but the fashion world is so competitive and everywhere and everyone seems so glamorous and sure of themselves while me i just feel like a  very large potato

(This is how i feel most of the time )

Do i wanna continue computer science? I really like it, bt there re so many smart good geeks out there.
Im nowhere near a geek
Do i wanna further my education or not.
Am i keeping the right friends?
Do i say the right things?

I dnt wanna go to a world where im just gonna exist
Im not the kind of person that goes into something cos everybody is going into it.
I really admire u pple that have gotten these figured out cos i havnt, and i dnt even know where to start from.

Im honestly scared of what the future holds.
Well, the future has come.

Im strongly holding on to 2 corinthians 12:9  that says his grace his sufficient
But i hope my doubts are not too many that his grace will not suffice.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

100 truths

i saw this tag on nikkishos blog and emmanuellas blog and i just had to thatch.

so here i am...

1. Last drink: zobo
2. Last phone call: a friend who slyed me this morning
3. Last text message:  My love
4. Last song you listened to: daylight by maroon 5
5. Last time you cried: i dont remember o
6. Dated someone twice: yes
7. Been cheated on:  i dont think so
8. Kissed someone: Yup :)
9. Lost someone special: No
10. Been depressed: Yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: Nope
12. purple
13. white
14. black
15. .......
16. Made new friends:  Not recently.
17. Fallen out of love: Yeah  :)
18. Laughed until you cried: very well....
19. Met someone who changed you: Yes
20. Found out who your true friends were: Yes,  :) 
21. Found out someone was talking about you: yes o.. naija boarding house things
22. Kissed anyone on your friends list: Yes
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: depends 0n d friend list o.. fb, twiter,?
25. Do you have any pets: No,only iif u count this cockroach ive not been able to catch
26. Do you want to change your name: No 
27. What did you do for your last birthday:  had breakfast, with the family, traveled, went to a viewing center to watch football and got wasted there.
28. What time did you wake up today: 4:30 AM. me and sleep are beefing 
29. What were you doing at midnight last night:  watsapping
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for: To start making my own clothes
31. Last time you saw your father:  hes starring at me now sef... (creepy)
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:  totally eliminate indecision from it
33. What are you listening to right now: lagos traffic outside my window.
34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i talk to digital tomcat all the time.... 
35. What’s getting on your nerves right now?: my phone acting up
36. Most visited webpage: ,
37. Current city: 1 leg in lagos, the other in Ibadan Nigeria ( West Africa)
38. Nicknames: wandy, yeva, pelebe, ballz, 
39. Relationship Status: happy:) 
40. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
41. Male or female or transgendered: Female 
42. Primary School: International Unity School Warri, Delta State Nigeria
43. Middle School: huh??
44. High school: Thomas Adewumi College Kwara State
45. Hair color:  Black ()
46. Long/medium/short: Short(will soon reach medium with enough prayers)
47. Height: 5'8
48. Do you have a crush on someone: yes
49: What do you like about yourself:  the fact that i make people happy, 
50. Piercings: Ears (others coming soon)
51. Tattoos: considering 1 o....
52. Righty or Lefty: Righty
53. First Surgery: None
54. First Piercing: Ears
55. First Best Friend: Dumebi
56. First Sport you Joined: im too lazy... "but i used to run 1 time sha"
57. First Pet: a solder ant that finally stung me. no joke
58. First Vacation:  I can't remember.
59. First Concert: ive never been to a concert :(
60. First Crush: either subomi mosuro from junior sunday school or nnamdi from pri school.
61. Eating: bananas... semovita nd ogbono next in line
62. Drinking: more zobo
63. Already missing:  too many people
64. I’m about to: google msc programs
65. Listening to: Nothing
66. Thinking about: furthering my education
67. Waiting for: nothing for now
68. Want kids: still cant decide how many...
69. Want to get married: they are already buying aso-ebi on my head sef. yes o.
70. Careers in mind: self-discovery still in process... too many options.
71. Lips or eyes: Lips
72. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
73. Shorter or taller: Taller!
74. Older or Younger: Older.
75. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic, 
76. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice stomach
77. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive bt not too sensitive.
78. Hook-up or relationship: i know im getting old, but some hook-ups wount be bad :) 
79. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker
81. Drank hard liquor: yes
82. Lost glasses/contacts: yes
83. Kissed on 1st date: Yes :)
84: Broken someone’s heart: Yes...
85. Had your own heart broken: no
86. Been arrested: No
87. Turned someone down: yes
88. Cried when someone died: Yes... all d time sef
89. Liked a friend that is of the same sex: im not exactly sure here
90. Yourself: Yes
91. Miracles: Yes
92. Love at first sight: still undecided yes/no
93. Heaven: Yes
94. Santa Claus: i wish he were real.
95. Kissing on the first date: your choice
96. Angels: Yes
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now?: Yeah :)
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?:  yes
99. Wish you could change things in your past?: everything works together for a greater good...
100. Are you posting this as 100 Truths?:  Yes!!!

Monday, January 28, 2013


i have natural hair under my scarf now cos my younger-ones decided to do practicals with my hair one fateful day... (i refuse to talk about that)
all well and good.
but this.... on my head... takes a long time to maintain.
honestly its not easier than relaxed hair atalllllll.
its longer than my relaxed air ever was but nne... make i no lie.
it no easy.
it takes time to get it to look presentable both at home and in a salon. :( ( and its soft o... )
i didnt even need to comb my relaxed hair. ill just put my had through and i was good to go.
its now now that i dnt have time that this 1 came to add its own.
where i stay everybody was forced to carry their short natural hair throughout secondary school and therefore see me as just punishing myself....
:( no shakara on top everyting.

i asked some1 what they tought about locs and the person said
" tufia,  dada ke?"
so where am i going with this?

ive been obsessing over locs for a very long time now.
the artificial 1 o.
(my liver never reach the 1 wey majek fashek dey carry)

i really do not send what most people think about me or my hair...,
but im scared, it'll affect my chances of getting somethings done,
like the kinda jobs i can get.
im scared some people will look down on me in some places.
im scared my mum will tell me to take if off..
things like that.
i dnt even know if i go fine for am..

so if you've tried this b4.. abeg direct me to your experiences.
did it hinder u from anything.
did any body beat or persecute u.
did your pastor call you to pray against ogbanje?
 (we all know Nigerians can put peoples matter on their head)
or did people think it was beautiful on your head
or did they look at it as just ordinary attachment?

random fun fact:
'Dada' in traditional Yoruba culture described children who were born with locked hair, or people who grew them for religious purposes. They used to be consecrated to the Orisa (or deity) of vegetables and newborns called Dada in the past, and their hair was supposed to be left uncut for a specific amount of time until a special celebration/ceremony could be held. Ijebus also sometimes call them 'omolokun', and they share similiar beliefs with Ijaw and other Niger Delta peoples about the special qualities of these children. Most of the traditional beliefs are not closely followed anymore though.


Sunday, January 20, 2013


hey hey hey.....
its skinny yeva..
wadup everybody.... its me again (duhh!!!)
i hope its not too late o say HAPPPPPY NEW YEAR...

omo... too much gist for you people.
you see too many things have happened to me in the 3 weeks old year..
you wont believe some of it if i started.
for example, i shared a cab with goats(not stubborn human beings o.. i mean correct Imkpes)
like this 1 here...

i got lost  like twice...
i relocated and im homeless.....
im making new friends.
honestly ... i should share some of these tings cos I've learn a lot but unfortunately i do not have a laptop now (na borrow borrow make me shine) so i cant blog as much as i want to.
i just hope u guys are ok... and this new year is treating you right. :*

nywayz before i forget....
its my birthday on Monday........ (yayyyy!)
i dont now what it is... bt derez jst this clown that dances in my stomach whenever it hears birthday..
im always sooo happy when any1 i now is celebrating their birthdays...
including moi....
im just sad i dnt get to spend it with friends and family cos i am in a new place now.
but ill get over it... im becoming a big girl now... :)  (it still dey pain me sha)

well the owner of the system has come :( nd cinderella has to submit her carriage..
till next time my dears... ill borrow another system and deliver my stories very very well.

God bless u.

Sunday, December 16, 2012


my country people....
yes, this pest is back again....
i know, i know.. i promised not to go on this kinda hiatus again, but omo it was necessary o
this country that i silently advocate for all d time, decided to send me to 1 remote bush.. somewhere deep in the heart of the country in the name of service...

oya grab ur popcorn nd try not to sleep.
ill try to summarize my 3 weeks of camp.
let me start with day 1... as my experiences will fill up a book.

my going to camp could not have come at the wrongest time, cos i had to write an exam which i waznt prepared for in December. and i was going to camp for the last 3 weeks in November.

well my camp was approx 13 hrs from Lagos, so going by road waznt even an option for me.

big otondo like me decided to carry her books with her to the airport (bigs gals tins abi... just wait na)
big mistake.. my books weighed 10kg.. nd i was told to pay almost 10grand extra for extre luggage
(ehn kilon jebe?)

i sha patched patched d books with my hand luggage nd i started  carrying it up nd down d airport o.

then my friend gave me d call of life..
"babe hope u re nt carrying big box o"
"nne y?"
"cos im in camp already nd u have to carry ur box on ur head b4 u kn pass tru d gate"
"O_O   OO"
"see this 1 o, u think say i dey joke? if u like ehn bring d whole lagos come here... u re on your own o"

(end of conversation)

what did i just do to my self?
i looked from my bag (the hand luggage which i waz still struggling to carry), to the airport tent (where my heavy box was chilling already checked in.) and i started pitying my self.
(who sent me message o)

lord y oh y did u make me so tiny nd all.

well i managed to get rid of d books 1 way or d other (dnt ask me how)
and some hours later i found myself in nsit-atai.

hmmmn. my friend waznt lying o.
the security man at d gate waznt smiling a tall.
i begged, pleaded, almost even bribed him to let me go through d gate without carrying my box on my head.
oga no gree o.
infact he started chasing me away sef....

i knew babes were not smiling when i saw some Brazilian hair wearing babes with their boxes nd buckets on their heads.
apparently i waz d only  who got didnt get the memo. :(

1 man sha helped me tru d gate only sha.

now i was in.

if u had seen d queue for registeration ehn. ....... lemmy not go into that, just not now.

they started checking our luggage for contraband nd all... u should have seen d way d policewomen started laughing when they saw d amount of grub (provisions) i brought along...

now after u re searched for contraband items.. u go on to meet the military men, who will tell u to frog-jump, sing, dance and run with ur box STILL ON YOUR HEAD....
i mean... iznt it a wicked world we live in?

the evil men started laughing and making jest of me when they looked at me nd my box.
in front of every1 o....
trust me u dnt want military men to make jest of u... it can pain.

God bless d angels that held those tears back for me.
i became the comic relief for the corpers on d registration queue already.

it waznt funny o...
there waz nothing i did not form, asthma, ulcer, death....  they didnt let me go o.
i must have spent like 1 hour there for 15 mins drill.

i sha trieed nd tried nd tried nd reached 1 stage sha ... until 1 ishewu who wanted to start to chyke me now let me go.

*sigh* ill never forget that day...
i jst registered in my mind  "I DON DIE"

I did part of my registration that day, hustled for a room, hustled for a bunkspace nd hustled for a mattress. i almost had to hustle for my life sef.
oh nd by hustled i mean i fought tooth and nail (literally) with matured, beard growing, muscular tarzan looking women who had leg yams the same size as my thighs.

(not all the babes in camp were like this o... b4 they find me and..... )

this was still day 1... no day 0....
trust me after all these... i still hadnt seen anything.

well let me stop here for now.
i had so many experiences, i actually kept a diary. (i stopped filing in after like 10 days)
i saw the good, the bad and the ugly...
and as d spirit leads.. ill update u guys more....

but nysc camp was ok.. i met alot of fantastic people...
and if u ask me..... (in omawumis voice)

i think therez something seriously wrong with our educational system cos a lot of people in camp could not speak correct English, some couldn't even communicate well and d mentality of some people.....
trust me.. only d lord can have mercy nd save them and i totally say this with all seriousness.

im grateful to be back home to my family,unstable electricity  Lagos holdup, a w.c toilet, even the tiny ants under my bed now.
experiences like this make u grateful for little things we take for granted everyday.

until then enjoy peace, joy and afang soup.
God bless thou...

oh oya take a look at 'baby corper' (i dnt know y people call me that everywhere i go in my uniform)

first and last week

Friday, October 26, 2012

lets talk about music

so anybody that knows me knows im a sucker for Nigerian music....
in fact i love music in general, but i just think Nigerians make the best good manageable music sometimes.
sometimes o...
not all the time

so theres habit i have,( i dont know if its a good or bad habit o, bt dat 1 na for ya pocket)
i go on itunes, look at the top 100 songs, listen to the tiny preview/pre-listen iTunes allows, and then i pick the 1z i find interesting and i go to mp3 skull to download. :).
(no money to waste im sorry, i neva start to dey work)

so i had been hearing bout this gangnam style song since o..
i didnt even know how it souned like, but i carried my strong head and still went to download it...
(it was number 1 on itunes nd naija internet did not allow me preview :( )
mscheeew... to say i was disappointed would have been an understatement.
if u stay here in naija,
ull understand how we mize (minimize) mbs here as the crappy internet service is expensive and yet again crappy.
i was angry mhen...
it sounded to me like a hungry Korean masquerade was ranting. 
but then i saw the video.... nd i understood y it was iTunes number 1....
those dance steps....  tres tres hillarious.
 see d video sha sha, nd see how this bladdy Korean used naija brain for the world (sing crappy songs with mad beats nd cover up with interesting video.)

now to d naija scene...

how many of u listened to tonto dikes songs??
how many hands do i see there??
thanks to twitter, i think i was spared the agony as some pple called it.
i dont know how bad the songs were cos i didnt listen to them,
but to those of u that did, more wax to ur ears sha.

next on d agenda...
how many off u like/love or even know burna boy??
hey hey calm down if u havnt heard the name b4... or if ur a tiny groupie, im not claiming him o.
hes a new artist, with a single thats stealing the hearts of alot of nigerian girls.
personally i think hes ok, the single is interesting.
but who saw the video of him fall off the stage at the oris  the headies..
mhen that video made my week...
im soo sorry burna boy, but i cant keep this wonderful source of laughter from the people of blogspot.

what made this video even funnier was the fact that he joined mouth to wish death on tonto dike for her noise song. karma's a bitch yea... 

so my country people, am i the only 1 worried / concerned at the rate Nigeria churns out noise in the name of music.
every sulia,tom and akpos is a musician. 

no body passes any message, no body has any lyrical content... na wa o.

even the self acclaimed "only mc with an msc" *cough cough i no talk name o cough *  doeznt have any song encouraging us too to get an msc... 
maybe he has sha, nd i jst havnt heard it... u know how things go... 

theres no artist with a nigerian dream, even the 1z that had b4 have been chased away. now every body want to "ti ghen ghen"

i personally don't want pple forcing school or anything down my throat o bt atleast... make una try na.

u need to go on Bella naija to read/ listen to the interviews of some celebrities... 
sometimes i jst think they are all in a competition for the dumbest to emerge as the winner.

if u re in d mood to get angry, carry ya leg ya sef, to youtube and look for davidos new videos. i dnt even wanna know their names, pls dnt tell me. 
he make the most fantastic beats, but i personally think hes rich enough to hire a song writer.. he shld do that asappp.

i love psquare but i think they use d same beat different songs, or the same song different beats... see as im catching confuse sef  (im confused)... 
but all their songs sound similar... alll abeg, i can confidently say i've listened to them all (or at least most).

ah.... tiwa savag is such a daring... i really wanna meet her 1 day, i think we'll be good friends (yes i famz alot thanks) 
pls watch this ife wa gbona vid  and tell me ur not impressed let me dash .......

im already eyeing that ghana-must-go filled with my all mothers ankara,  to see if theres something i cn turn into oleku for moi (im a thief like that)

well there's still hope for the future sha... there re still some kick ass talents out there, and i pray that God will take away some peoples auto-tuned bleat and all the noise will stop and Nigeria will be a better place, amen.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...